Helplessly in love
by Hyper Vongola Decimo
Summary: Ryoma finally decides to confess his feelings to Fuji. songfic


A/N: So I don't know really, but I saw something somewhere, I don't remember where, that songfics are banned on ffnet? Well, I dunno about that, if it really is the case, I'll take it down, but for now here you go.

The song is _Tsutaetainda_ sung by Ryoma's seiyuu Junko Minagawa and I think it perfectly sums up all of Ryoma's emotions towards Fuji ;) I couldn't find the English translation anywhere, so please bear with romaji, which I wrote from hearing, so forgive me any mistakes you find. Also, if you do find any, please let me know, so that I can correct them. Here I give you a link to the video with the song: youtube|dot|com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fK_ufloNXnY

Enjoy!

* * *

_Kimi ni tsutaetai_

_Omoi ga afuresou_

_Rashikunakute terechau kedo_

_Ima nara ore sunao kamo ne_

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I was waiting before the locker room, stepping nervously from one foot to the other. My hands were sweating and even though it was warm and sunny, I felt freezing cold. Something in my stomach kept rolling about, making me want to vomit. I was afraid. Me, Echizen Ryoma, afraid! I would've snorted in disbelief, if my lips weren't so dry I had to lick them every few seconds, and my throat so tight that swallowing became painful. I didn't even want to think what was going on with my eyes and face. I knew I was an open book for everyone to read. Screeching of the door brought me out from my haze.

'Nya, Fujiko, what do you mean you're not coming to the party?!' Kikumaru-senpai's voice hit my ears with too much volume.

'I can't, Eiji, I've got to help Nee-san,' I felt my stomach do another samba, using this silky, smooth voice as the background music. 'She's moving and I have to help her get her things out.'

The two boys came by me and I could only clench my teeth. _He_ was so close I could reach _him_ if I just stretched my arm. Gathering all my courage, I managed to open my mouth and produce a non-embarrassing sound. Congratulations to me!

'Ano…' both heads turned to me, but it was the gaze of these suddenly open cerulean eyes, that made me blush like a hot tomato. I thought I was going to burn in shame for behaving so out of character. 'Can… Can I have a word with you, Fuji-senpai?'

I cursed myself for how meek I sounded. And yeah, obviously, _he_ noticed it too, because _his_ eyes focused on me even more. Why did I have to be so clumsy and just not myself around _him_? Why?! I wanted to smash my head on the nearest flat surface.

'Sure, Echizen,' _he_ answered and my heart fluttered like a living bird, even though _he_ only agreed to talk to me. 'Go ahead, Eiji, I'll catch up.'

_Kotoba ni suru to_

_Jouzu ni ieanai yo_

_Doushite konna ni bukiyou_

_Tenisu no you ni ikanaide_

I gulped a breath of air, feeling slight panic at being left alone with _him_. And then I stared. And nothing. Not even a word came to my mind. I just stared, while _he_ looked at me patiently, but expectantly. Nothing, null, nada, zero. Why couldn't it work like tennis? I would be my cocky, arrogant self and just say it, or even better yet, kiss _him_ and then pretend indifference, while _he_ would try to come to terms with it. I felt lightheaded from all the emotions I tried to suppress.

'I…' I finally managed to find my voice, but I still had no idea what to say, how to phrase it, what am I even doing, oh god, kill me now.

_Kimi ga warau kara_

_Sore dake de ureshikute_

_Kimi no egao no tame naraba_

_Nandemo dekiru to_

_Kokoro kara sou omou yo_

I took another deep breath, thankful that _he_ was giving me all the time I needed. And bit by bit I calmed down, remembering every time I realized how much I loved _him_. Like that time I saw _him_ laughing, truly laughing, not _his_ amused little chuckle, but one from the bottom of _his_ heart, _his_ true laugh. Seeing _him_ like that made me so happy I could die. It was rare for _him_ to be that open in public, but being a witness to such an extraordinary show was my most treasured experience in life. And it showed me how important _his_ happiness was to me, how much I would give to always make _him_ this relaxed and free. I love _him_.

Or that time when Yuuta was hospitalized because of an accident and we all went to visit him. I could feel his pain, but not through the band aids and stitches, but through the sad, frowning face of his brother. It hit me hard, harder than it should. To lift the mood I said something, I don't even remember what, and then… _He_ smiled. _He_ smiled at me and I knew that _he_ knew what I intended and _he_ was thanking me for it. I wouldn't mind such method of payment for the rest of my life. In that moment I swore to myself that I would do everything in my power to keep this true smile on _his_ face. And I believed, from the bottom of my heart, that I could make it happen. I love _him_.

_Onaji yume wo miyou_

_Ne, onaji jidai wo kanji wo_

_Kimi ga iru koto_

_Sore ga tada_

_Ureshikute_

_Kokoro ga atatakaiinda_

I remember how happy I was when I entered High School and _he_ still played tennis and was still on the tennis team. Yet again we could aim for Nationals together. Side by side, with the same goal, the same dream set in mind. It warmed my heart to have _him_ so near, to see _him_ every day, to feel the warmth coming from _him_ when we were running laps. I loved it. I love _him_. And…

Kimi ga ita kara

Koko made korareta no sa

Hitori ja arukenai michi wo

Sono koe ga hikari tousu

If _he_ weren't there through this whole time, I know I couldn't have made it to where I am now. It is thanks to _him_ that I learned the thrill coming from playing tennis. _He_ was the one who showed me this new, colourful world of pleasure I would never dare to dream of. _His_ voice was the one to bring me back from so many hardships. _He_ didn't have to do anything at all and my stubborn mind kept replaying the words _he_ said to me over and over again. Even my conscience talked to me in _his_ voice. Every dark alley I came about, _his_ was the voice that led me through it and kept me alive. What else could it be other than love? Was it not obvious enough?

_Keshite nakasenai_

_Sore dake wa yakusoku sa_

_Kimi ga nozonda koto naraba_

_Ore ga kanaetai_

_Kanaete ageru yo kitto_

Many times I was devastated. After a lost match mostly. It was _his_ voice, my conscience, that told me not to cry. Never to cry. And I promised to myself, to _him_, I wouldn't. No matter how costly that loss was, crying would solve nothing.

There was also a time when we were a lot closer than the rest of the team, me and _him_. It was nothing more than a few study sessions and a few matches on weekends, but for me it was a paradise I would not trade for anything in the world. Literally, I would do everything for _him_, just to be near _him_, see _him_ smile and be _himself_. I would make _his_ every wish come true, if it only was in my power. Because this is what I feel. I love _him_.

'Na, Echizen,' _his_ voice was like a morning breeze on my cheeks, like a beautiful song of the summer birds, like a murmur of rain on the soft leaves. 'What did you want to talk about?'

_Onaji sora wo miyou_

_Ne, onaji kisetsu wo kanji wo_

_Kimi to iru koto_

_Sore ga tada_

_Ureshikute_

_Dakishimete shimai sou sa_

I didn't answer, because I couldn't. I got lost in _his_ cerulean eyes, feeling giddy with happiness. We were both here, under the same sky, watching the puffy clouds pass by. Sakura petals were scattered here and there, and the sweet smell coming from them was like an euphoria. I was so happy. So happy! It was unbelievably hard to suppress the urge to just glomp _him_ and hold _him_ close, never letting go. I couldn't do it. Not yet, at least. Or if ever…

_Onaji kaze no naka de_

_Ne, onaji jidai wo ikiyou_

_Tashikani koko ni kimi ga iru_

_Itoshikute_

_Ryuu to dakishimetai nando demo tsutaetai wo sa_

_Ite kurete arigatou_

A sudden gust of wind came down, ruffling our hair and I couldn't help but notice how _his_ longish brown locks fluttered around his face. _He_ is so perfect… _He_ almost looked like an angel from high heavens, sent here to make weak, plain mortals, like me, fall madly in love. But _he_ was here. Why didn't even matter. _He_ was here, before me. My beloved. I wanted to embrace _him_ so badly that I had to clench my fists in order not to gather _him_ in my arms. I took a deep breath yet again. How many times I wanted to tell _him_ this, I lost count long ago. But today. Right now. I looked _him_ in the eye. Thank you for being here…

'I love you, Fuji-senpai.'

…because I am helplessly in love with _you_.

* * *

So? How was it? Please let me know if there are any mistakes! I love this song and I hope that you liked it too ;) Will be waiting for your reviews~

Oh, and btw, I'll be switching fandoms for a while, which means no PoT fanfiction and more of, dunno, SnK or KnB, or even KHR. Hope you'll stay with me till another one of my PoT phases comes ;*


End file.
